Wednesday, March 19, 2008

will all the male turkeys in the room shake their jelly

this morning it snowed for an hour or so, while i was eating breakfast and drinking tea.
it didn't stick, the ground was too wet hence warm.
it was pretty.
it is so nice and quiet out here.
last night was a good night, meeting friend's adopted chinese 20 month old.
she is a bundle of giggles and fun.

woke up stressing about the far future. i was painting empty tree branches all over myself and the covers
as i slept...but while some became real substantial branches that helped me sleep in comfort and thrive in my existence, others remained empty eventually becoming brittle and unstable, the more i tossed and turned the more they broke and shattered making my sleeping arragement all the more disjoint, uncomfortable and dangerous.
finally i quit the illusive battle, lit a candle and let Dirk Gently and his adventures distract.
i reprimanded myself in the morning but what can you do really...
it is where i was at last night.
so i needed to be there.

after the snow, i meditated then drove in to town for lunch with some old collegues (physicists) at one of my old lunch spots.
that was nice. overdosed mildly on coffee but no harm done.

tonight david is in town dancing and eating. i will maybe stretch, then dance in the dance studio for a bit, eat then continue my reading on the fall of the roman empire.

currently learning of the father of the catholic church Augustine, the inventor of the whole adam and eve story and the grace of god, the trinity etc...seeing it play out from his personal goals and experiences it seems so transparent, so much less mystical and holy. he was just a person, just a person with a penis, a strong ego and mind and desire for more, fufillment, understanding...damn woman tormenting me when all that matters is the father and the son and the love between the two...but he must have struck a chord for it to have lasted so long, become a part of "the way things happened"...
this guy, Augustine, like 1600 years ago...and there you go. nothing've heard it all before, we've heard it all before...
perhaps you are rolling your eyes or your mind, bravo colleen, big whoop.
people are just people. that is how it goes...but hmmmmmmm... turkeys, turkeys are so much more.
you can just tell by the way they dance.

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