black irish tea.
i have been drinking it a bunch the past week or so, with milk and too much sugar. last night i slept like a crazy due to this little habit i have unleashed.
more and more of it. it feels good and takes me back to days past.
with my friend ruth at her house chatting. we would chat over the miserable situations we had unknowingly and naively worked ourselves into. beautiful times...to have a friend work through things with you. right alongside you in the shit making you a cup a tea...cussing out the people you are not ready to cuss out.
somehow we worked it all out and success came of our miserable years, success and strength. well for me, not so much for her unfortunately...maybe her prize is still being readied.
well success came i guess, a phd?
i forgot. i have forgotten both the confidence and strength, ability that i had/have?
drink the tea...remember her cheering you on.
fuck. i am out...make another cup, head out to the water cooler? why not.
how will i end this? am i really a blogger? do i have too many goals, lists etc. impossible? i hardly do anything these days. i.e. i started this blog...recieved support, then lost the sheet of paper with my blog name and website name? some real full hearted dedication then, nothing to be faked. eventually did detective work, revisit an email or two and then here i came.
look what the cat dragged in.
back to the bird brains. and the tea.