Thursday, May 8, 2008

just any thursday

but it is not.
got some bad news this morning from a best friend about the passing of her mother.
yesterday and suddenly.
what to do in that situation? for her for anyone.
after talking to her. went in and cashed in on some free espresso from my sister's boyfriend. he gave me a coffee card for v-day.
life is so full of it. both good and bad. both banal and shocking. light and dark. easy and hard. sweet and sour. here and there. then and now. time and space. rock,
paper, scissors? what is the point?
so then you can get there just like i did, listing things off, pseudo opposites with small restrictions on oneself takes you somewhere else and you have only skirted the have only flailed in an effort to get to the source and thus been diverted to the outskirts...instead some old cliches, or whatever those are, and no answers for your friends, no comfort, no uncovering of settling truths which will take us away from the reality of where we are heading...the unknown.
and i can't do a damn thing about it. or can i?
things i felt i could do and am thus doing in order to help or process;
3)said sorry
4)drank espresso
4.5)sent her a card at the p.o.
8)put on reggae music
9)cut up a cardboard box from a package that the friend just sent me and taped it back together flat to glue things that she has sent me in the past. thinking of her and hoping those thoughts make a difference.
10) and then i wrote about it just now too