Thursday, March 27, 2008

snow in the morning

yesterday was the hump.
the second part was hard to get through.
the party was slow...or i was slow, or maybe i was too fast...i am not sure.
no one will ever know that but what i can say for sure was that we (the party and i)
were not in sync. and it was significantly apparent and uncomfortable.
guess it could be in part to my introspective lifestyle out here...but it felt very detached,
foreign to me...couldn't engage in small talk...only could make broad all encompassing abstract
comments about humanity...i.e. "what do we really know anyway?" comments and delivered out of context.
in otherwords, you and your friends are camping, long beautiful day marvelling at nature, engaging your body in a hike, building a fire stare into the fire slightly buzzed and exchange such ponderings as "what does it all mean?" "is there a collective consciensiousness?" etc. and it is an appropriate forum for it...the contrasting picture; i am in town at a 60th birthday party in a duplex, cheese and crackers and dip, black cherry soda and wine, the crowd is very mixed; in age and background, religious, education or otherwise. i am wearing tight black pants and green high heels and grey off the shoulder sweater with green tank underneath (what i deemed to be appropriate "in town" clothes)...people ask questions like "does anyone know where the bathroom is?" and i respond cynically from my slouched position in a chair that is too big for me "who knows, does anyone know fucking anything anyway?"...people don't know how to respond in that situation, maybe a nervous laugh, i couldn't really help them i was in the wrong element and it was felt.
nonetheless i ate cake, had a glass of wine, which was too much, considering i was already
tripping a i pounded 2 mugs of water and barely made it to a respectable exit time.
today, as the title claims, i woke up to snow on the ground which makes sense cause it was really cold last night.
have a fire going in the workshop, gonna paint for the day, then go on a run later.

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