Thursday, June 4, 2009

last night's dream

walking away from an ultimate tournament in a dark-just up from the beach-environment.
as i walk on the hard dirt i note to myself that i am leaving no footprints, after i note that i begin to leave prints and they get deeper and deep the farther out i go. then i am called back to the group, i can't remember why or by who, anyway i turn back but i don't make it back to the original site cause i end up stopping off in a little side room where i begin to cut up images on paper, images of body parts, then an entire skeleton, which when i finish cutting it out begins to curl and blow in a small breeze - fuck, i realize i have killed her...she is a older friend of the family, i try to resuscitate the pieces of paper, pushing my fingers down repetitively on the paper ribs, but no sign of a pulse or breathing, i can feel her fading away, i run out in to the hall screaming "Help, Help, someone is dying".
an unfamiliar man comes in the room with me, he picks up the paper cut-out skeleton in his hand and says, "i am sorry there is nothing i can do, she has died, she's in the room right now waiting and you know what you have to do" at that point i am overwhelmed with an enormous nauseating energy, it enters my body, he screams "open your eyes, see what she is trying to show you, she wants you to know what really happened between her and your mother"...i am whirling and nauseated and scared, i won't open my eyes, i leap across the table into the man's lap and curl up i hear myself yelling among all the energy "if you hold me i will open my eyes, i will let her show me" but on some level i think i am lying and apparently i am cause as everything is whirling and buzzing around me he grabs me by my face forcing me to open my eyes and he looks into them and says "don't lie, i know you are lying...if you continue to lie you know what i will have to do to you" and then i woke up to myself whimpering in fear

1 comment:

missyp said...

wow cooley....that sounds like a very complicated and scary dream. lastnight i dreamt i had to rescue ryann c from a hanging light fixture cord... because she had gotten stuck trying to take a picture of a bug. what do you think that means?
ps. i hope your aren't feeling guilty about solstice and having bad dreams....