june and the subsequent gloom

some people say "i love you"
other people profess love.
when self-instigated i take the road of profession.
when it is a call and response situation i just say it so as not to be awkward.
i believe the road less traveled is profession.

profession is a larger statement. the person who professes puts it out there.
because (while i have a fair amount of gall) i am lacking balls, my most recent profession of love was conquered through the mild lubrication of gin, beer and rum and the heavy inflation of pot.
a special package of unique beauty and enthusiasm that i dropped into my sleeping lover's ear at 3 in the morning.
it was weakly acknowledged that night and utterly ignored the following day.
thus i became guilty and felt stupid...why i can't be normal like all you other people out there is one of the great mysteries of life. come on, you say, send him the message in a card (i tried that it involved my decapitated eyeball and tequila and i am not sure he or i fully understood it) or tell him in the morning over a cup of tea in a cuddly little robe and slippers while rubbing your fingers through his hair and he holds your hand. or why not keep it inside of yourself, if you can't deliver it in a well balanced swallowable (wd?) manner.
too easy. much too easy for him and further from what is inside of me.
so there it happened and now, as david says, it is forever in between us.

the way i am coping is making an appropriate mix to develop some clarity on the issue, for all parties involved, regardless of their level of participation.
enough on the state of my romance....what is this blog about anyway and why haven't i been writing in it?

too busy trying to develop to a sustainable level a mode of income...been preoccupied with setting up camp, pitching the tent and starting the fire to make the food.
and thus not as much time to frolic down by the lakeside.
though some paintings have come, one i finished this past week entitled
"a progression involving me"
and a couple other i am currently working on, the one on the left is entitled "just because you have 3 wishes doesn't mean that you will use them all"

did some collages in april for the spring open studios, which i am pscyhed on, they sort of combine elements from my paintings, greeting cards and collaged furniture...